Life is hard, but a life without self-discipline is much harder. Choose your hard. Overcoming mental health challenges and addiction requires self-discipline. I was in high school back in 2012, and a classmate said I would never be successful because I didn’t have the discipline required to be successful.
His statement crushed my confidence for a while.
This is because I believed it.
In Army Cadets I was very disciplined. From 2006-2012, I was one of the top cadets in my unit. My ability to show up and be consistent was the reason I had so much success there. But you can have area specific confidence and discipline, and not have the same discipline and confidence in other areas. I have good discipline in some areas of my life, but in other areas I have to step up.
In life, delayed gratification is rewarded and instant gratification is punished.
Drug and alcohol addiction is a prime example of being punished for instant gratification.
Or any addiction for that matter.
I have addictions to gambling, nicotine, and coffee.
The reality is I’m in a state of dependance. Going through the pain of quitting is far less painful than being broke, being tired, and getting lung cancer. When you choose instant gratification you are borrowing against your future self. The payment comes with steep interest.
In high school, I didn’t really work that hard. I also opted not to go to university. My decision was based on the belief that I didn’t need a degree to do what God put me on this earth to do. Currently I have the job I want. I was able to get that job without a degree. My credibility there came from my lived experience around mental health.
Delaying gratification is very difficult when you are in the habit of getting what you want right now. It’s better to be bored than broke. When I have an urge to gamble I use that mantra. Being bored and allowing myself to be with that boredom is always a win. Anytime you avoid placing a bet or losing, you have actually won. Gambling is something I have done to relieve boredom in the past. But actually being bored prevents me from going broke. Running away from an emotion is not going to make it any better. Gambling is something I have the intention of quitting because it’s extremely destructive. Losing money a terrible way to stay in a good mood. Winning is great for mood, but staying out of play allows you to have a natural positive mood.
The thing about developing discipline is that you have to be very realistic with yourself. If you set the bar too high, you will stumble and get discouraged. Seek improvement not perfection. Progress is not sudden, its incremental. Those small wins are still wins. Delaying and distracting are the keys to overcoming urges with addictions. If you can take your recovery one day at a time, you won’t feel so overwhelmed. People want to reach milestones, but the only way to get to 5 years is by taking it one day at a time. Every single time you choose to be kind to your future self, it’s a win.
Your future self will benefit from doing the emotionally difficult stuff today. The reward of delayed gratification is compound interest. Just like instant gratification creates debt, delayed gratification creates a positive return on investment.
Be honest with yourself, what do you truly want at a soul level?
If you pursue something that’s not a soul goal, you won’t have the follow through needed to reach the goal. Many people dream big, but they don’t know what they truly want. Wanting a house and a car might be goals that come from society. They may not be aligned with your true calling. Think about your life purpose. What do you want to give to others?
When you are on purpose with a givers mindset, you’ll take your life more seriously. Doing something for your own gratification won’t lead to true happiness. To be happy you need to be a giver.
To your success,
Angus