I’m not happy at all, and I’m glad I’m honest enough with myself to admit it. My life is boring and I’m not doing anything exciting with my life. I’m in a state of stagnation. The truth is I’m not living to the fullest, just coping with distractions like gambling. To live the life I want I’m about to say fuck it and just live according to my truth. I’m sick of being average. Making an average amount of money gets you nothing these days. It’s either shoot for the stars or drown. Being a millionaire has been a goal of mine since 2015. I wanted to get there by age 35, but I’m almost 32 now and no closer to that goal.
The way to a million dollars is easy, I just have to stop wasting time. Working on more projects and pushing past the boredom of it all is the key. Right now I’m existentially bored, nothing exciting is going on. I don’t even care about reaching a million dollar net worth. I just want to have a journey that is fun. With all that’s going on in my life, I’m not having any fun. I’m just living a very average life, to the point where I barely feel alive. The 10X rule is something that I heard about a number of years ago. It would be a good way for me to increase my productivity. I’m actually pissed about the way my life looks right now. I want to enjoy what life has to offer, and also get rid of my addictions. The addictions were my way of running away from my wasted potential. I need to feel alive because I’m dead inside. The boredom is a sign that I need to start taking more shots. I need to get in the social game and start a dating life. Make more money so I can get my own place. Right now I’m just dead last.
The anger I feel today is a step above apathy. Feeling hopeless and depressed is not going to get me anywhere. I need to say fuck it and start writing and sharing self-help that’s above myself. I can’t let imposter syndrome stop me from deciding to be great. The time to share my best work is now. Being productive is a great escape from boredom. And once you get into the business game, keep levelling up and don’t stop. I have many books I haven’t written yet, and if I didn’t waste any of my days I’d have those books up by now. In Army Cadets I was great, I want to get back to that insane level of drive that I had back then. I was sidelined in my 20’s by mental illness, but back then I was at least insane enough to believe in myself beyond reason. I want to get back to the insane person I used to be because then I was actually overachieving. Insanity is a gift, and being normal has given me nothing in return. I don’t want to get rich for the sake of the purchases I could make, it’s so I can actually be happy with myself.
The way there is to not waste another second doing something that is useless. I’m still going to do the work I do Monday to Friday, but I also plan on being very productive away from work as well. The wasted days are going to come to an end. If they don’t I’ll remain mediocre and miserable. I know I can reach my full potential, and instead of seeing that as a burden, I’m going to make the most of that opportunity. Fuck gambling, it’s a cope that’s causing me to waste my potential.
I expect to be more productive. Being bored is something I’m going to feel no matter what, but I’d rather do something that’s going to reward me. I can write many books, and I can start my Youtube channel.
To your success,
Angus