Right now I’m 31 years old about to turn 32. I have been reading and watching content on personal growth for the last 15 or so years. In 2010, I had a spiritual crisis where I wanted to know the greater context of life. Knowing what came after death was very important to me. I also wanted to learn from people who have had great levels of success.
In 2012, I retired from Army Cadets about to turn 19 years old. I had a few years of learning about personal development at this point. My life path has been different than most people. From 2013 up until 2023 I was working through the mental health system in Ottawa. Originally diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The catalyst for my manic episodes was a desire to be very successful. I had sky high confidence because I was young and didn’t know how hard success actually was. Success is more about the basics than anything advanced. Wanting to be a billionaire was part of what I was thinking about back then. Also very interested in spiritual enlightenment. Those two paths are a contradiction. And neither of those two goals are important to me right now.
At age 31, my focus is about maximizing my habits and health. If I don’t do that my life will be cut short. I made many mistakes in my 20’s. Smoking, gambling, and getting hooked to coffee are all things I need to change to enjoy a better life in my late 30’s and beyond. The opposite of addiction is connection, and I feel more bored and disconnected than I ever have in my life. The gambling and stimulant addictions are a result of not feeling connected to humanity. Part of getting my health back must involve creating better relationships and actually connecting with others at a deeper level. In my mid 20’s I enjoyed a lot of deep conversations with other people. I also enjoyed reading deep stuff on life philosophy. My motivation for becoming a life coach years ago was about getting to have deep conversations. As a peer support worker I enjoy when people want to have deep conversations. I work in a field where I’m there to have conversations with others. I find it rewarding to see other people succeed. I write these articles as a way to inspire myself to focus on more important aspects of life. If you enjoy my work that’s great. Blogging in this day and age is not the primary way to get a large following. But I’m not looking for a large following. I’m looking for human connection. So eventually people may stumble upon the blog and enjoy it. Ironically in all the situations as a life coach and peer support worker I have had to learn the very lessons I end up teaching. This caused me to have some imposter syndrome at one point. But now I see this as a natural part of being in a helping profession. You will help others work on the same issues that you need to work on. This is part of the beauty of the process. So I’m not blogging as a guru, I’m blogging as one person who’s struggling helping another person with maybe similar challenges.
In my 30’s I want to get to 40, this means I need to work on my health. So all the bad habits I have that are holding me back need to get reversed. I envision that I will one day be a very powerful public speaker. The funny thing is, I have less fear and more excitement about being on a stage. I have the knowledge and delivery to be a very effective speaker. As a coach I did well in 2018 and onwards, but my actual calling is to speak. I enjoy reaching a larger audience as a speaker than doing 1-1 life coaching. In the last year, I haven’t taken on a client for coaching. So as I move through my 30’s, I want to make sure I’m looking for the opportunities to speak. Having a foundation of personal development knowledge will help me, and mostly a payoff for all the reading and watching videos I did in my 20’s.
It will take courage to face my demons and rise above them. But I can focus on what matters and drop what doesn’t. I already said I want to be free of addiction by March of next year. Walking the walk and having those successes in my pocket will help with my credibility and imposter syndrome that sometimes gets me to doubt myself. It’s also true in life that I have to make my own opportunities, I can’t expect people to just hand me speaking engagements. I can take my passion for gambling and transmute it into public speaking. The truth is now that I’m 31, I don’t have more time to waste, I’ve got to start making the most out of each day that’s in front of me. I want to ace the game of life, and in order to do that I must seek out opportunity. Telling my story and sharing an inspiring message will help me with that connection I’m missing and I will feel like I’m playing the game of life to the fullest.
To your success,
Angus