I have experience being the highest man alive, without using drugs. Being bipolar is a gift I have been given. Last week I was terribly depressed, but that was because I’m not living to my greatest potential. I have been lacking courage. Fear of responsibility, fear of success, just fear of anything related to moving forward.

You have to say fuck your fears and do acts of courage. More pressure, more success. In cadets in 2012, I was the drill sergeant of the camp. The reason I was so good in that role is because I wasn’t afraid of pressure. Before I had my first manic episode, I was fearless. I had delusional levels of confidence. To exercise courage, you need to have faith that you will be good win or lose.

I’m single in my 30’s because I haven’t exercised courage. All the opportunities I missed out on. But when I swung the bat win or lose I had a high from acting on the courage. A shortcut to being high is taking more risks. More courage is actually the gateway. When you face your fears, you get to a point where you realize fear was fake evidence appearing real. I have fear of success. But I need to face this fear instead of wasting my potential.

Play the game of life at the high stakes table.

I’d rather lose huge than win small.

The thing is fear is the fastest way to a life of regret and missed opportunity.

The game is supposed to be a simulation to see if you’ll choose fear or courage. Acting from courage is the fastest way to move up in life. Eventually you become fearless. My life is about making those acts of courage daily. So pile on the responsibility and the pressure. Eventually I’ll just see it as a normal. There’s an infinite amount of levels to this game called life.

Stop waiting for permission and act on your dreams now!

To your success,

Angus

The rest of this year and next year are dedicated to getting my life together in areas where I’m struggling. In the last few days I have gone through mild depression. I’m getting used to a new place to live and my addictions are currently getting the better of me. My goal in the long run is to become addiction free. This is a long term goal that I still haven’t given up on.

It’s very hard to eliminate addictions. But it’s still possible. Eliminating addictions is very much worth the effort and getting back on track after the relapses. In your recovery you will slip and relapse, but to have the resolve to stick with your plan no matter what will make all the difference.

My first and biggest priority from now until the end of my life is to quit all forms of gambling. I know for a fact that no amount of winning will bring about satisfaction. Good mental health is linked to good financial decisions. Boredom is my worst enemy, but I will always take bored over broke. I’m currently in a position where if I stop gambling now, I will be well of financially. Since early September, I have been in the midst of a struggle with gambling. But the good news is I still have a lot of money if I quit right now. I have had this addiction for over a decade now, and I feel ready to make another attempt at not gambling. I don’t like the feeling of dependency. This will be the first addiction I work on to be healthier. From April until September, I was able to avoid gambling almost 100% of the time.

To get back on track, I will use the gym as a coping strategy. Today I went to the gym for the first time in months. My fitness is at an all time worst right now. I will be very happy with the improvements that will show up almost right away. I was very weak today when I went. This means that I will reach failure in my reps fast, and the result of that is more strength. The gym is close enough to home now so I can go every single day. I squatted the bar alone today and my legs were toast after just 12 reps. This means that there’s a lot of room to improve. I have a ball hockey season starting in January. I want to make sure I’m playing near my potential. The strength improvements I make in the next two months before the new year will only help me.

Another goal is ending my nicotine addiction. I have been a pack per day smoker for 5 years now. This habit started in 2020, and it has only been worse over the years since. The goal is to be addiction free, and this may be harder than stopping gambling. I have already shown that stopping gambling is possible given that I was on track from April to September. The payoff of not gambling was very rewarding. My relapse started from a hundred dollar slip and it built up to being back in active addiction. But I still have a lot of money now if I quit. It won’t be like starting from zero like I had to in April. From April to September I was able to save thousands of dollars. A wise man said that he had everything he wanted from gambling just by stopping gambling. I have played all the games the house offers so I’m not missing out by quitting. Money is something that matters when it comes to having a low stress life. It won’t make you fulfilled on its own, but it takes away worry when you have money handled.

Coffee is another addiction that is very severe in my case. I have been drinking multiple pots per day for at least a few years now. This won’t be easy to knock off, but for the sake of my health it’s another goal for me. My vision is to be addiction free by March of next year. I will also be in the gym daily between now and that time. The principle of momentum is something I want to take advantage of. The rewards of making each decision the way you must is going to lead to much more joy down the road. I look forward to the future and after being in the dumps for the last few days, I have a plan to get my life back on track.

The joys of life will be greater when I’m free of addiction. I want to get away from being dependant on smokes and coffee just to feel normal. It’s very hard to eliminate addictions, but incremental progress is very possible. The pride of making wise decisions is going to be a good feeling. I also look forward to actually enjoying hockey again. My fitness will be much improved when my season starts in January. By the end of 2026, I expect to be in the best position I have ever been in. This will be the compound results of changing my habits and embracing consistent delayed gratification. Goals are a foundation to progress and I appreciate every reader I have.

I make these posts to also inspire myself and allow myself to look back on what I have posted to keep me on track. So each moment of progress is still progress. I want to give myself credit where it’s due and stay positive as I ace this journey.

To your success,

Angus

Most people think of manifestation as an easy process. Just think positive and visualize. The people who buy into the law of attraction want an easy manifestation. They say if you feel good, good things will happen. When you have a vibrational match, you’ll get what you want so easily. This is only half the equation.

The other more important half is action. If you aren’t taking action then you don’t truly want your goal. The universe actually responds to action. If reality is subjective like I think it is, then your core beliefs will dictate your manifestations. The beliefs you have will dictate what actions you take. Wanting something that takes work means that the LOA won’t give you an easy result.

Your soul is extremely powerful. It’s fair to say your soul is God. You will only manifest what your soul truly wants. If you just think you want something, your desire is actually weak. Weak desire and thinking you want something you actually don’t deep down will just leave you frustrated.

When I was in Army Cadets, I truly wanted success at a very deep level. I wanted to become great as a leader. My thoughts and actions were in alignment. I actually did the work. The universe doesn’t actually recognize desire until you start taking action. Affirmations and visualizations aren’t actually needed. The universe knows what you want and won’t actually help you until you take action.

Being honest about what you actually want allows you to get clear about your desires. You have to get rid of desires that aren’t authentic. Live true to your real desires. If you aren’t clear on your desires, then ask yourself what you actually do with your time now. Most people get their desires from the world around them. True desires are easy to manifest. Fake desires are not going to manifest, and you won’t actually enjoy the process. If you have a real desire, your soul will keep reminding you about it.

Having fear about an authentic life will keep you trapped. Don’t give into fear and don’t distract yourself with false desires. If you don’t live life true to yourself, you’ll feel low. Life is supposed to be fun, and if life isn’t fun, you’re not doing it right.

The law of attraction will make it very easy for you to manifest your hearts desire. Addictions aren’t soul desires, they are distractions. Gambling, smoking, coffee, and such aren’t my soul desires. They are poor coping mechanisms. Facing fears and not shying away from difficulty is the path forward. Money is also not a soul desire. It’s a resource that will allow you to live your soul desire, but by itself it makes little difference. The universe loves you, after all your higher self created this lifetime for you. Not to pay off karma, but to truly be happy.

So the law of attraction is like the book the Alchemist. You have a personal legend, an epic life story. You are the main character, the creator, and the viewer all in one. Life is about a journey, not a destination where all efforts are no longer necessary. Embrace the adversity in your life story. Your character and who you become is part of the fun. If life was easy it wouldn’t be worth it. God wants you to enjoy a life you truly love. Getting your soul desire is not going to be hard.

In 2007, I fell in love with hockey. I have my work life and my fun life. Hockey is my actual soul desire. I have been dealing with mental health issues, and work as a peer support worker in mental health. This is the part of my path I call work. I do work that lines up with my skills. The work I do allows me to play hockey. Lately over the last few years, I got addicted to gambling. The gambling took my enjoyment away from hockey. But by quitting gambling I will actually enjoy my soul desire more. In 2011, I met all my friends through ball hockey. My personal soul desire is to be a good ball hockey player. I always feel most at home when I’m playing hockey.

My personal legend in Army Cadets was also a soul level desire. I became one of the best cadets in my era because I loved it. I loved shining my boots, and everything else that cadets entailed. I became a great shooter and drill sergeant. The reason I didn’t run out of drive is because I was where my soul truly wanted to be. I was easily putting in my efforts because I loved everything about cadets. I ended my career having reached all of my goals. Part of my story was being up for promotion to Chief in 2011, and someone else getting the promotion. But the next year I stayed with the process and got it.

I also had a mental health journey that I took full circle by becoming a peer support worker. The law of attraction lined that up because it was true to who I am. The goal for me now is to get back to my soul desire of playing ball hockey. I love ball hockey more than gambling because in hockey you win with your friends. You feel good about those wins. Even when I lose, I love the process of hockey. Gambling never leads to fulfillment or satisfaction. The universe will only conspire to help you with soul level desires. Your ego based desires will not manifest as easily.

Focusing on what you want is the secret. Not what society has made you think you want. But what is it you truly want?

You’ll get that easily.

To your success,

Angus

Life is hard, but a life without self-discipline is much harder. Choose your hard. Overcoming mental health challenges and addiction requires self-discipline. I was in high school back in 2012, and a classmate said I would never be successful because I didn’t have the discipline required to be successful.

His statement crushed my confidence for a while.

This is because I believed it.

In Army Cadets I was very disciplined. From 2006-2012, I was one of the top cadets in my unit. My ability to show up and be consistent was the reason I had so much success there. But you can have area specific confidence and discipline, and not have the same discipline and confidence in other areas. I have good discipline in some areas of my life, but in other areas I have to step up.

In life, delayed gratification is rewarded and instant gratification is punished.

Drug and alcohol addiction is a prime example of being punished for instant gratification.

Or any addiction for that matter.

I have addictions to gambling, nicotine, and coffee.

The reality is I’m in a state of dependance. Going through the pain of quitting is far less painful than being broke, being tired, and getting lung cancer. When you choose instant gratification you are borrowing against your future self. The payment comes with steep interest.

In high school, I didn’t really work that hard. I also opted not to go to university. My decision was based on the belief that I didn’t need a degree to do what God put me on this earth to do. Currently I have the job I want. I was able to get that job without a degree. My credibility there came from my lived experience around mental health.

Delaying gratification is very difficult when you are in the habit of getting what you want right now. It’s better to be bored than broke. When I have an urge to gamble I use that mantra. Being bored and allowing myself to be with that boredom is always a win. Anytime you avoid placing a bet or losing, you have actually won. Gambling is something I have done to relieve boredom in the past. But actually being bored prevents me from going broke. Running away from an emotion is not going to make it any better. Gambling is something I have the intention of quitting because it’s extremely destructive. Losing money a terrible way to stay in a good mood. Winning is great for mood, but staying out of play allows you to have a natural positive mood.

The thing about developing discipline is that you have to be very realistic with yourself. If you set the bar too high, you will stumble and get discouraged. Seek improvement not perfection. Progress is not sudden, its incremental. Those small wins are still wins. Delaying and distracting are the keys to overcoming urges with addictions. If you can take your recovery one day at a time, you won’t feel so overwhelmed. People want to reach milestones, but the only way to get to 5 years is by taking it one day at a time. Every single time you choose to be kind to your future self, it’s a win.

Your future self will benefit from doing the emotionally difficult stuff today. The reward of delayed gratification is compound interest. Just like instant gratification creates debt, delayed gratification creates a positive return on investment.

Be honest with yourself, what do you truly want at a soul level?

If you pursue something that’s not a soul goal, you won’t have the follow through needed to reach the goal. Many people dream big, but they don’t know what they truly want. Wanting a house and a car might be goals that come from society. They may not be aligned with your true calling. Think about your life purpose. What do you want to give to others?

When you are on purpose with a givers mindset, you’ll take your life more seriously. Doing something for your own gratification won’t lead to true happiness. To be happy you need to be a giver.

To your success,

Angus

Everyone gets to a point in life where things seem bleak and that nothing will get better.

Depression is not just a chemical imbalance. It’s caused by a loss of hope.

When you lose hope, apathy can easily set in.

Not even trying anymore is a place many people have been before.

The reality is you can’t expect to solve the issue in one day.

I have lost hope in my life on more than one occasion.

Sometimes I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore. When I was 21, I was collecting government assistance and felt like I was unemployable.

I didn’t want to work and bust my ass for what I thought wouldn’t make a difference in life.

The decision to work came about when I was in the middle of a ball hockey tournament and a friend needed someone to help him shovel snow for a night. At the time I was content to just live off of government help. But something at this point gave me some hope. I did the shift and made a couple hundred dollars.

The thing is before this day, I didn’t think I would ever work. I saw it as not worth the effort.

My desire was to one day be a millionaire, but I didn’t see working as a laborer as any part of the path to get there.

The work I did that winter built into me working full time in the future.

I wanted to be a millionaire for the longest time.

When I saw that desire as something out of my reach, I felt a loss of hope.

What got me hopeful again was the realization that my goal didn’t come from me. I set the millionaire goal because I felt it was a sign of achievement. I would be worthy when I got there.

The good news is I realized this wasn’t a goal that came from my authentic self.

Today I work full time and I’m in my element.

On top of that the work I do can also lead to future speaking engagements and I want to be a great public speaker. I have already done several speaking events. The tip I share with other speakers is that your average self will be great on stage. It’s a matter of having that trust in yourself to deliever.

Being a peer support worker in the mental health field is a job that fits both my skills and enjoyment.

I can make the most of every day and also develop into a impactful public speaker.

I didn’t think I would be in the position I’m in now back in 2015.

My goal now is to continue to make the best impact I can while I work at the hospital.

I said in 2014 that working as a peer support worker would be my dream job.

In 2022 I realized that dream.

By the time I was hired many years later, I felt ready for the role.

When I felt less hope, I didn’t think I would be where I am now.

You never know when good fortune is around the corner. My goal now is to be fully congruent and be my authentic self to make the maximum level of positive impact.

The role is a blessing because it challenges me to be an example in my recovery.

I need to be the best influence I can be for the people I serve on a daily basis. Last week I was feeling burnt out mostly because my sleep was not the greatest. So when I come back to work, I want to be restored so I can keep making a positive impact.

The life lived to the fullest involves giving.

When you give more, you get more motivation to continue to give.

Being congruent means setting an example 24/7.

When nobody’s watching, it’s key to act with integrity.

Recovering from multiple addictions at the same time is hard, but I need to choose the hardship I will endure.

Stopping smoking, gambling and lowering coffee intake is going to be key to my congruence.

I don’t want to set anything less than a great example, because if I’m going to be in the recovery business, I must fully walk the walk.

I can’t work my days and be a gambler at night.

I also need to slowly lower my smoking again because I was almost there last time I tried to quit.

Leadership is something I practice because leadership is influence.

Every day I show up to work I’m influencing, even if I don’t notice.

In cadets, I was a good influence because I truly walked the walk.

The mindset I had from 2006-2012 was one of high dedication. I need to use that time in my life as a reference for stepping up my game now.

My game has been good, but I want to be better. I demand a lot of myself, and I know what I need to do in order to rise up to the challenges I’m giving myself.

The thing about excellence is that it’s easier to be excellent than it is to simply meet expectations.

When you demand excellence from yourself, you will have higher levels of motivation.

If you are just trying to meet expectations, your motivation will barely be high enough.

So I’m focusing on excellence all across the board.

When you strive for excellence and do excellent work, more opportunity will show up.

More success leads to more success.

Acing life is far simpler than just getting by.

When you decide to ace life, it makes things very clear.

In cadets, I aced everything because I demanded nothing less out of myself.

I exceeded all expectations.

Now more than a decade later, I’m deciding to get back to that version of myself. I’m still doing good, but I know I can do great.

So greatness has to be the goal.

In every action there must be a purpose.

To your success,

Angus